Today is April 8th. We’ve been in the hospital 6 of the 8 days so far this month. People ask how we like our new home and we don’t really know how to answer. Our new home is the hospital I think. We are ready for a break. Thankfully, if all goes well, we will get to go home tomorrow only to come back Sunday for a shot. Then we will have two full weeks of no chemo. Hallelujah! But, the isolation will begin in a few days as this is the round that makes his counts drop. We are praying that it’s not like last time where he was sick the entire two weeks. Last time he ended up sick and in the hospital or cancer center about a week of the two week break.
This is week 6 and he has handled the AP so much better than he did on week 1. Yesterday he felt great! He ate, drank, laughed, made 5 different craft projects, did some school work, and tormented the nurses. His favorite nurse, Cathy, was here and he loved every minute of it. Days like that I am in awe of how much he thrives here. There are parts of his personality that I only see on his good days at the hospital. Many times when he opens his mouth, I brace myself for what will come out. He doesn’t skip a beat and loves getting to know the nurses and what makes them tick (or annoys them). Last week, as he is asked a million times in a day, his nurse asked, “Can I get you anything?” His response horrified me! He said, “Yeah, a new personality…for you!” 😳 Oh. My. Gosh. Seriously. I did not raise a disrespectful child!!! Luckily, these nurses have great personalities and senses of humor. When she asked why, he said, “Because you don’t like the Chiefs.” This nurse, who he likes a lot but won’t admit when she’s around, loves the Broncos. So, he purposely wears Chiefs shirts and hats when she’s his nurse. Sometimes his vocabulary needs a little tweaking. 😬
Today, however, was not one of those days. Today I’ve spent a good amount of time holding the bucket and wiping vomit from his mouth. Today he’s been in bed more than not. Days like today are hard. He tells me I should never have signed papers to let them poison him and he begs me not to make him take his medicine. Most of it is intravenous, but today alone he took 23 pills. I so wish I could swallow them for him. And, many times I question whether I should have signed those papers. But then I close my eyes and picture him not here with us and I take a deep breath and tell him for the hundredth time that it was our only choice and how much we love him. I know God has us here for a reason. But, right now I’m not happy about it.